My mother's day in pictures

I just love the ocean, don't you?  Especially when it involves the grands burying  themselves in sand.

 This is my oldest grandson and his expression is just priceless.

 My girls and I were walking on the beach and suddenly, they started walking like crabs.  Apparently it's good for the thighs.  Does it make me a bad mother for snapping  this picture?  Lol.

 My youngest and significant other...

 My oldest retrieving water for the sand castles.

And my oldest with her husband and MIL in the background. I think someone ate too many Tortas. It's moments like these that I love having a camera.  Priceless moments for sure.  So, how did you spend  your mother' day?

Up not down

Ugh.... Scale is going in the wrong direction! This morning weigh in is 189 lbs. Disheartening. Will start a food journal here. Perhaps that will help.

I will also be  happy when my hair is longer. Just saying.  I take random pictures of myself throughout this journey and the eyes never lie.  The window to my soul is not muy bueno today..


On a  happier note, I did walk 2 miles at noon and did zumba in the evening.  I sat out a couple of songs and sneaked out during the cool down.  It felt like "cheating" but hey, something is better than nada. After stopping by my daughter's house to pick up my bib for the Race for the Cure, I came home and made this for dinner.


Not gonna lie. I did eat dried fruit and a bowl of mango, strawberries and peaches with  lots of Tajin.  It was that or the chocolate cookies in the cupboard.  Old habits are definitely back and I'll do better to harness self-conrol. Don't you wish there was an over the counter pill for self-control?  Wishful thinking.  This has always been the  hardest part of losing weight for me...

Oh well, today will be better.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother's day on Sunday... Don't forget to hug your kids... even if they're all grown up.  Something I'm getting better at...

Life

Mine is bueno.  At least today. I woke up early, had my coffee and two cookies. I need to remove that part of my morning ritual. It's one of those habits I picked up during treatment. Truthfully, I've picked up several bad habits. It's just as easy to learn a good  habit as a bad habit, right?  So yesterday, I picked up some fresh veggies and dinner was chicken and sauted mustard greens, spinach, chard and kale.  Snack consisted of carrots and hummus so each day, I make a choice to be healthier.

My lunch hours now include 2 mile walks.  I long for the days where I would walk 2 miles at noon, then do zumba 5-6 times a week. I get upset that I don't have my old stamina.  If  you've read my blog long enough, you know I"m a self-talk warrior. I tell myself that I'm like an athlete who needs to rehab after an injury, except my injury is "chemo."   There's the physical aspect of recovery and the mental aspects as well.  I've cried in frustration when there are moments that my brain will not recall something or when multi-tasking is not so great. I tell self to be patient but of course, I am not patient.

There are things I can do to push myself... we all need to push ourselves, right?  So when my daughter asked me to do the Susan  G. Komen Race for the Cure, I said yes.  Walk or run, I will be there...

Guys, shit happens to and we can either crawl in a hole or start digging.  Life is not always fair and even cruel but there is the "warrior" in me that tells self "keep pushing... keep pedaling. Keep going!

Every day we have choices. Whether its food, whether it's a walk or jog to the park, or the cookies or the kale, or worry and anxiety. There is a higher power and HE is always there... We all  have something or someone that anchors us whether it be our faith, or our rituals.  The goal is to keep pedaling.

Told self to keep going as I tried to complete a two mile jog at lunch. I made it about 1.5 miles.. it's not my best but I'll take it... I'm still in the game.  Thank you Lord.

Feliz

Hey friends, how are you?


Happy cinco de mayo... I made tamales and played frisbee with the grands. It was a great day. I am still working hard to regain my stamina. Some days are easier than others but life is starting to have order....

I think tomorrow i will use my camera. Hopefully that will be a start to blogging again...

I am signed up for a 5k for mothers day... I might not run it all but it will feel great nonetheless... I'll keep you posted.

Toodles

How you see yourself means everything...

Hello, how's your week treating you?

The weather in Sacramento is windy.  As such, I didn't do much yesterday. The guilt settled in and so after a lunch of tuna, eggs and jalapenos, I went for a 2  mile walk.

During my walks, I have lots of time with thoughts.  Instead of worrying about everything, I decided to just enjoy the breeze and the pretty blooms. It certainly helped my mood.

On  my return to my office, I saw my co-workers return from their run. I  notice how fit and lean they are....  I am envious.... Envy is not an attractive quality in a person, is it?  I switch my thoughts to my old saying "I may not be where I want to be but I'm certainly not where I was." 

Then, I remembered how on Saturday, I jogged 1.8 miles non-stop.  It was hard, but I did it. I felt like a real athlete. I felt fit. I felt like a runner.... I guess I need to hold onto that feeling... It's the key to moving forward, right?

Darn, i forgot my zumba gear but i improvised. Came home. Changed and Daniel and i walked 2 miles and then jogged home.


Here i am... A hot sweaty mess. My hair is coming back. It feels softer. So glad when i can chuck the hats.

Nothing like endorphins to make you feel awesome.

Looks like dinner will be fruta...



And of course Tajin.


That's my evening...

You play, you pay

It's raining in Sacramento and when it rains, I find myself wanting comfort food.  My co-worker and I had lunch at this  little mom and pop restaurant two days in a row. When our gregarious Buildings & Grounds guy invited us to lunch, we couldn't resist. He's hilarious and we needed the laughs.  After many suggestions, he randomly pulls into this little place that's just a couple of miles from our office. When I got back to my office yesterday, I googled Dad's Kitchen and saw that it was featrured on Guy Fierri's Diners, Drive-in & Dives.  I couldn't believe Guy Fierri was in my hometown.

I wish I had my camera. This little non-descript place has a gorgeous patio area in the back. It was the perfect place to destress.  Yesterday we shared a tri-tip sandwhcih. I was  happy I sweated off the calories at zumba.

But then.... my co-worker and I just had to return for a BURGER.

What do you think? Delicious, right?

The waitress suggested we try the macaroni and cheese topped with bacon.  O..M..G... (I know, I sound like a 15 year old).  It's been 5 hours since I ate 1/2 the burger, 1/2 the fries and 1/3 of the mac and cheese.  Even though we shared, it was just too much. Why do I do this to self?  I know.. because I have an unhealthy relationship with food. That's why.

I'm sitting here looking for all kinds of reasons not to go to zumba tonight.  Tonight's class will be high intensity. It's raining. I should have no problem talking myself out of going?  Instead, I write this post... reminding self of the need to work out.  I feel like Mr. Meagi in Karate Kid "WAX OFF, WAX ON" But instead I'm saying CALORIES IN, CALORIES OUT.

Oh well, you play, you pay... in this case, you eat, you better burn those calories.  My behavior is counter-productive. I know this... but sometimes, I'm my worse enemy. 

Later, gators.