I am having difficulty with finding balance with my level of activity and my home life. At least 3 times a week, I attend a zumba class. There have been weeks that I go every evening. I arrive home at 7:45 p.m. What do I find when I get home? Daniel making his dinner. Maybe he's doing a load of laundry since I'm backed and he has no work clothes. I'm starving and sweaty. I change or shower depending on how hungry I am. This is tricky because if I'm too hungry, I will start eating and not stop until I make myself sick. It takes a while for my stomache to tell my brain YOU'RE FULL. Then there's dishes. I'm zonked. Daniel rarely complains but h e's had it when I tell him to clean his mess. He thinks since he's cooking and doing laundry that I should do the dishes. I'm all 'IT AIN'T MY MESS" I find myself being very selfish. If I do not exercise. The scale will go up. I'm doing all this and the scale doesn't move. Imagine if I stop? Fear sets in.
I shower and throw myself on the couch. Daniel wants to spend time with me . I have nothing left in me at this point. He feels rejected and I understand maybe he's questioning the relationship. He's on his own most evenings.That can't be fun.
It is incredibly hard for me to balance US time. I do my best on the weekends. I know our relationship needs nurturing but the fear of the scale drives my need to exercise. Honestly, if I do not attend these classes and use my lunch hours for walking, I WILL FIND MYSELF AT 213 lbs again. My recent work schedule has cut into my walking time and the scale is already up 5 lbs. This is life and 5 lbs in the grand scheme of things is not the end of the world... but the fear of scale going up is always in the back of my mind.
I am smart. I know I have to make this work. I am not the only one who struggles with balance. My immediate plan? Throw a load of laundry to wash in the mornings. Use my crock pot. Leverage my lunch hour ie.., get my cardio in at noon. Attend zumba no more than 3 times a week. Yes, I have a plan and that helps the fear subside. At least for now.