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Sunday, July 29, 2012

My sunday in pictures

It is my youngest daughter 27th birthday. Boy do the years go by quickly.

Lunch was beef tostadas and mexican rice and salsa.

My first attempt at making a tres leches cake.

It sure is pretty but i added too much milk.

My grandson who has an incredible imagination. They used the remnants of the pinata for a marching drum.

Great day over all.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

the fat one in the group

Hi friends.  I took a few days off for some R&R.  We celebrated Daniel's birtthday at the beach and then a group of us hiked Woods Lake. I've  hiked this a few times and the scenery is just spectacular.

Just look at the cloud formation in the shot above.  You feel really small amongst the rock and outdoors.  We hiked a total of 5 miles at climbed about 1,100 feet in elevation. At least that is what my friend pablo said as he pulled out his topical map.

We started out at Woods Lake which is a nice place to camp and fish.  We walked the steep part of the trail first.  All along the trail you see the hillside dotted with wild flowers.  Some in our group knew the names. I was just glad for great weather. It did start to sprinkle for a second but swiftly cleared up.

This is my third year hiking here and I must say, the flowers were not as plentiful as years past. Maybe due to low snow levels and rain.  But it was still nice to see the different colors here and there. I guess we were just lucky years past.

I was with a group of experienced hikers. Almost everyone had done Half Dome or Mt. Whitney.  I was happy to be with such an elite group, but I also felt insecure.  Do you see the two with back packing gear?   They are training for a week long trip to Yosemite.

I felt so self-conscious in this group.  It was the first time in A LONG TIME that I felt obese.  Looking at the picture above, all I can see is how fat ass is.  I am not writing this to solicit "oh paula you're not fat" comments. No.  I am writing because it's a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.  It was with me all through the hike.  Especially as we posed for the picture below.  All I could think of was I'M THE FATTEST PERSON IN THIS GROUP.

I acknowledged that feeling on the ride home.  My mind shited to positive comments like:  It's okay.  You're hiking. You're not acting like a fat person.  You could be sedentary on your couch. Instead, you're living life, as you should be! The world is not just for skinny people.  Get over it.

I can see how these negative thoughts can hold you back from enjoying pleasures in life.  There are times where you just have to check the fat girl at the door and just do it.

It's difficult to see what's in the picture above.  I know I should try harder. Be more regimented with my eats.... I just feel so discourage by the process of losing weight.  Who doesn't right? 

I got tired of trying so hard. I would jog 2 days a week, zumba 3-5 days a week. Do points or calorie counting and still get the same results as I have now.  I've stopped jogging and only do zumba 3 days a week, maybe some biking or walking here or there but the fire for fitness have been diminnished because of my lack of results.  That should not stop me, right?

It's hard staying the course.  It's hard not to be discouraged but I refuse to let the negative fat girl keep me down.  I may not be where I want to be, and I will never get there by sitting on the sidelines... Know this paula so get over it.  Live. Laugh. Be. Happy.  Even if you're fat.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Exhausted. Celebrated daniel birthday at the coast. We visited a beached called Goats Rock in Bodega Bay. It was gorgeous.  Seeing nature in all it's glory humbles and definitely relaxes me.

We also visited Portuguese Beach and Bodega Dunes Beach.  Someone got buried. An absolute must when visiting the beach,

The temperature in Sacramento on Saturday was 100 degrees.  At the beach, the temperature was 65 and I actually needed a blanket on the beach. 

It was a great Saturday.  On Sunday, I went hiking at Woods Lake.  I have pictures that I need upload and I wanted to share some thoughts I had about being among my persons who are obviously thinner and more fit.

Anyways, I'm feeling exhausted. I have blisters and am feel like I have a small fever. I'll be back later with a recap and thoughts of my hiking trip.  Talk to you soon. I have the day off to recoup.

Have a great day.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Feeling content

Hi friends. I found myself grilling dinner for my kids this sunday. I was smiling feeling content for a number of reasons. 1. I was grilling by myself. 2. I diced an abundance of fresh veggies. Some we grew in our yard.

I know cooking out doors can be mundane but i felt a sense of accomplishment i. That moment and i thanked God for that moment.

Does that sound silly? If so, that is okay.

I was content and in the moment and my grilled veggies and tri tip was cooked to perfection.

Oh and i did a zumba class on saturday morning.

Yay, me.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I did something i haven't done since my 240 pound days. Instead of walking, i sat in the student center reading.

I downloaded a book entitled "to selena, with love". Its about my favorite tejano singer who was killed 17 years ago.

I sat on that sofa eating a sandwich.

I am on the down hill spiral leaving my good habits behind.

Maybe its just the heat. Zumba tonight for sure. You negate a bad choice with a positive one, right?

Like last night. I used my fresh veggies for a quick stir fry.

Zuchinni, cabbage, tomatoes and leftover chicken.

It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I was pleased that i ate all that produce. Then i downloaded the book and read until midnight. I love my ipad btw. I have not read in years.

Doing what i can to get my good habits back. One day at time for sure.

Off to change for zumba before leaving work. It is very hot in Sacramento. Maybe that's a good thing. Sweating my blues awY.

Have a good one guysPosted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

It's hot

in Sacramento. 105 degrees and I'm waiting outside my office to have furniture moved. I see a group of kids playing in the many sprinklers that are spouting off at the park across the street.

It sure looks invitinig.  I got lucky with my cell phone camera. Look at water reflecting the sun rays. Pretty cool,  huh?

After moving things around, it was lunch time.  I've missed my greens.  I made a quick salad of spinach, walnuts, feta and an over riped peach.  Hit the spot.

Since moving my afternoon office, I'm pretty far removed from the main campus and student center. Having a mini fridge in my office will help me from eating out of the vending machines.

The director returned from the Inter-American program in Guatemala and brought me  this wonderful little gift. It's a Nativity scene. I've wanted one of these for the longest.  How did he know?

Look at babyJesus and the Los Reyes Magos (3 Wise Men) dressed in Guatemalan cloth. I love it.  I am not a good "gift giver." I have no clue as to what to give a person whether it be for birthdays or just a thank you gift like above.  

I nearly jumped out of my chair when professor unwrapped each piece displaying them on my desk.

Well, better get back to work. Just wanted to share my day with you.  How's the weather in your  neck of the woods?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dear PWC,

What's wrong with you?  You keep TRYING to get into the groove with  your workouts but you can't seem to pick up the momentum.  I'm happy you're TRYING.  But as Yoda says

Do or do not. There is no try...

Force yourself to zumba tonight. I know you're bored and it can be challenging. Especially the arms and jumps but that's because it's an area you need to challenge yourself.  And good for you for planning another hiking event.  These are all good things but COME ON...

Pick up the pace. Start cooking the veggies from your garden.  Plan your meals.  Get the fire back in your eyes girlie... okay so you're not a girlie but you know what I mean.   You haven't even done a 5k in I don't know how long.  You felt awesome and on fire. Dontchawant that feeling again?  One day at a time. Okay?

Now get your arce changed into your zumba clothes and get to stepping....

Monday, July 9, 2012

beachin it at Scotts Flat Lake
The View up from my lounge chair
The view in front of me from my lounge chair
Lunch time.... Tostada de Ceviche
Just a couple of pictures from my day at Scotts Flat Lake in Nevada City.  There are so many places to visit in the summer. I am very lucky living in Sacramento, California. Many cool places to visit that are only a couple of miles of driving.

We packed ceviche for lunch. Ceviche is shrimp marinated in lemon juice, tomatoes, onions, cilantro, jalapeno and avocado.  It packs easy and is pretty refreshing to eat after a swim in the lake.

I've been unwinding on the weekends and it has helped me to relax. Probably a little too much.  Back to reality and that means laundry, work, and workouts...

Later gators.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Finding my way back

Feeling very fat these days. Scared to weigh myself. It is probably not as bad as i think, but my love for healthy living has seen better days.

Skipped zumba tonight and instead hit the American bike trail. Whew... 10 miles was tough. There was a strong head wind... But i rocked it up those small hills.

This is what 10 hard miles looks like. One day at a time. Hopefully, they'll add up.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

my munchkins

Happy belated independence day. Did you enjoy the day with family and friends?  Tuesday night, I had all 7 of my grandchildren over for a camping in the backyard. They were so excited.  We played with color chalk, told scary stories in the tent, made popcorn and they laughed and laughed.

Here they all sittign around the camp fire, waiting for grandma to make shmores.  The best part was listening to them tell scary stories with a flashlight inside the tent.  Gabe (whose sitting with Freddie,  his stuffed friend from his 1st year's Easter basket) told  The Three Little Pigs as a scary story. It was too cute.

Of course after scary stories, they decided to sleep in the house.  Next morning, we ate scrambled eggs and banana pancakes.  It was a great time had by all.  I just love making these special memories with my lil munchkins.

I really am lucky... I remind myself every night before sleeping.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

reaching for clothes at the back of the closet

Yep. That is what I did this morning when I was figuring out what to wear to work. I grabbed a size 14 pair of jeans that were nearly falling off of me just 6 months ago. They are still loose but not as much as before. I was so close to a size 12.  Don't you just  hate it when you know the scale is inching up by the way your clothes fit?

It's a wake up call. One of many that I've had in the last 6 months.  I'm taking small steps again like I did in the beginning.  I was cray-cray busy at work but I forced myself for a 2 mile walk. I'll inch my way back up to jogging at noon but until then, I'll do  my best not to jump off the  ledge.

You know that panicky feeling you get when you realize you've gained weight? It's a precarious little place to be.  You're one choice away from choose a cheeseburger vs. the chicken salad and then you top off with a shake.

This morning, I was in our business office and there were cookies on a table. BEAUTIFUL COOKIES. I stared at them for a few mintues until I was caught and was offered one. I declined but more out of embarrassment than choice.

trying to right the ship... one choice at a time....

send me good thoughts okay?

Monday, July 2, 2012

How does my garden grow?

Hi friends. How was your day? I had another relaxing weekend enjoying nature. We camped at Rollins Lake and i feel energized. Does nature have the same affect on you?

I cannot believe hoe fast my veggies grew over the weekend. Our garden is much smaller compared to other years. No garden is complete without bell peppers.

The tomatoes are coming up nicely, too.

I even have grapes growing like crazy.

I was thinking of drying the, out to make raisins.

Hmmm, what else could i do with so many grapes?

If you all have any ideas, i would sure love to hear them. Been practicing bloggin on the ipad. Not too bad. Though i should purchase a wireless keyboard. This way it doesnt take so long to type.

I miss the blogophere and hope to get back to blogging and sharing food ideas. The garden, even though it is just a few plants, will give me some much needed food inspiration.

See you soon.