Cancer treatment is over, and everyone expects life to pick up where you left off. It is not an easy thing to do. You go back to work. You adapt to the changes. You try to keep up with the demands of running a home i.e, cleaning, paying bills, etc. you even try to work out.
You do all these things with side affects from treatment such as pain in your feet, shortness of breath, fatigue, difficulty forming thoughts and you are careful not to complaint...
Today i lost it. I came home tired. Daniel wanted me to join him in running an errand. He does not understand my tiredness. I try to explAin. I am frustrated. He doesn't get it. He feels i am not adapting. I get angry that he doesn't get it. I pick up a plate and i smash it on the floor. He is quiet and i am in my room. Crying. I am filled with an over whelming sense of sadness and most of all loneliness. No one gets it. Cancer and the after math is truly a journey one takes alone.
I realize slamming a plate on the floor was the first time i let myself be angry and you know what? That is okay, because this too shall pass. Not looking for sympathy... Just coming to my small home aka blog to let process all that is me on this road called life.
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